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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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There's been a lot of sh*t happening recently - quite hard to keep up, really. Regular visitors may have been wondering when we were going to cover major issues like the new American president ("He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"), or the Israelis having the nerve to think they should do something about the people who keep lobbing rockets over their borders and claim proudly that they want to destroy the Israeli state? Is it Israel's fault that they have a properly equipped army instead of a bunch of thugs sheltering behind women and children?
 
You can imagine the conversation at Israeli High Command, can't you?
 
"Yes, hallo, this is the Commander in Chief here. What's that? Hamas have fired a rocket into a housing estate? One house destroyed and two civilians dead? Right, get me the Air Force … hallo, is that the Air Force? Just launch an F16, would you, and tell the pilot to take out one house in Gaza? What's that? What size house? Oh, about three bedrooms, I should think. Preferably detached, with a jacuzzi. Now, where are the Commandos? Captain, I want you to go to the border and shoot two innocent civilians, please. Just two, mark you. Our response must be proportionate …."
 
And then there's that ridiculous proposal to give £12,000 to the families of anyone killed in the Irish troubles. Whatever next? How about cash grants to the families of the 7th July bombers? Perhaps the money could come from the National Lottery. How bloody absurd - if you had a family-member killed because they were engaged in an act of crime or terrorism, you ought to be ashamed to take the money, and if they were killed because they were innocent bystanders it'd be an insult to suggest that £12,000 is the going rate. And if we're going to "manage history" in this way, where does it stop? How about compensating Jews for the Holocaust? Or ginger people because of the Anglo-Saxon invasion?
 
And as for Prince Harry having a normal sense of humour ...
 
Incidentally, that word Harry used about one of his friends, "Paki". Exactly how is that offensive? Did you know that one of the best-known websites for the Pakistani community calls itself "paki.com"? - it looks rather good, actually. What's the difference between calling someone from Pakistan a "Paki", and calling someone from Scotland a "Scot"? Is the word "Brit" offensive? Actually, to many English, Welsh and Scottish people, it is - but we don't hear them bothering to complain, do we? Perhaps we should ban the word "Yank" or "Yankee" to describe Americans? - although there's a baseball team that might find that a bit awkward.
 
No, we feel that enough's been said already about all these. We prefer to concentrate on more domestic, but equally outrageous, issues.
 
Here's Christopher Booker writing in the Telegraph …
 
Until recently, Newlyn in Cornwall was the largest fishing port left in England. Last week a banner headline over two pages of Fishing News read "Newlyn reels under £188,000 penalties - port's netting fleet decimated". What has left the town stunned, wondering how long its fishing industry can survive, is the latest step in a court case which has left 14 local residents, several in their 70s and 80s, facing heavy fines and the threat of imprisonment, forcing most to sever family links with fishing that go back generations. When the final step comes in May, involving the trawler firm Stevenson's, the town's largest employer, it is feared this could wipe out Newlyn as a fishing port, Nothing better summed up the poignancy of this case than the sight of 82-year old Doreen Hicks weeping in the dock after being given a criminal record, fines and costs of £3,500, on threat of imprisonment, just because she was named as a part-owner of her family's fishing boat.
 
As much as any episode I have come across in 20 years of reporting on the destruction of Britain's fishing industry, this case has shown how there are two different ways of looking at this long-drawn-out tragedy. From one point of view, the facts were clearcut. The 14 defendants, fishermen and their families who happened to have a part-share in six elderly fishing boats, were accused of selling £140,000-worth of hake and other fish back in 2002 which they had illegally mis-recorded as other species because they didn't have the required EU quota. After a six year investigation by officials of the Marine Fisheries Agency (MFA) and the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), the 14 last year pleaded guilty.
 
Having delayed sentencing for nearly a year, with a ban on press reporting of the case, Judge Phillip Wassell, claiming that plenty of hake quota had been available at the time, showed no sympathy for what he called "a deliberate, complex and well-organised series of deceptions". He imposed fines and costs on the defendants totalling £188,000, with prison sentences for non-payment.
 
An MFA spokesman, echoing the judge's claim that plenty of quota was available, exulted at the punishment of this "environmental and financial crime". Also supporting the judge and officials was Charles Clover in The Daily Telegraph who, under the headline "Fishing pirates of Newlyn caught in law's net", described the defendants as "the self-serving fiddlers of Newlyn who conspired to wipe out our marine resources for private gain".
 
Among those facing fines and possible imprisonment were 83-year old Mrs Hicks, Donald Turtle, 82, and his wife Joan, 71, as part-owners of boats skippered by their sons. Judge Wassell conceded they might not have known about the "conspiracy", but they deserved punishment for having "benefited" from the crime.
 
From the fishermen's point of view the story looks rather different. Hake were abundant around Cornwall in 2002, but EU quotas were so tiny that the fishermen could catch their entire month's allowance in a single haul, making it virtually impossible to earn a living. This was why they logged their over-quota catches as different species. Although Judge Wassell claimed that quota had been available, the court had heard no evidence on this (the fishermen themselves were not permitted to speak in their own defence). But the Cornish Fish Producers Organisation, responsible for individual quota allocations, insists that virtually no extra quota was available in 2002. It was so dismayed by the judge's comments that it has asked for a transcript of his judgment.
 
In response to accusations that the men acted solely out of "greed", Mrs Turtle says: "It was need, not greed - most weeks our men come home having earned less than the minimum wage."
 
Ironically, since 2002, the Newlyn fishermen, working with government scientists, have convinced both Defra and Brussels that Cornish hake stocks had been so underestimated that fishing for hake is now "unrestricted". But of those six Newlyn boats, only two are still in full-time fishing. One skipper, John Turtle, now working on a North Sea supply vessel, says: "Defra has broken the back of the Newlyn fleet. I haven't got any fight left in me to return to fishing."
 
Another skipper, Shaun Williams, now working as a lorry driver, says: "I wanted to leave a good industry for my son to join, but that industry is now very, very sick and struggling to survive."
 
The final blow for Newlyn could come in May, when Stevenson's comes up for sentencing, after its records have been trawled through under the Proceeds of Crime Act, designed to seize the assets of terrorists and international drug dealers. Last year this was used by the MFA to wipe out three small fishing businesses in the Thames Estuary, when fishermen were forced to sell boats and homes to pay punitive fines.
 
The quota system being enforced in this ever more draconian fashion is the one which every year forces fishermen to throw countless millions of saleable fish dead back into the sea. Even the EU's fisheries commissioner, Joe Borg, calls it "immoral". But what is even more startling about the disaster created by the Common Fisheries Policy has been the uniquely ruthless zeal with which Britain's officials have set out to enforce its "immoral" rules on our own fishermen - with the enthusiastic support of judges (and even some journalists) who seem quite unable to recognise the human tragedy involved.
 
Another British industry which may soon disappear, thanks to our masters in Brussels, is production of that remarkably useful metal aluminium. Although we rank only 19th in the world production league, our two main plants, in Anglesey and Northumberland, are as efficient as any of their competitors. But aluminium relies heavily on constant supplies of electricity.
 
The Holyhead plant, Wales's largest electricity user, is supplied at a discount price by the nearby Wylfa nuclear power station, state-owned through the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority (NDA). If the NDA was privately owned, it says it would be happy to carry on selling power to its largest customer at a discount. But under EU state-aid rules this is now "against the law".
 
So it was announced last week that Holyhead is to close next September, with the loss of 500 jobs.
 
The Northumberland plant at Lynemouth uses its own coal-fired power station to produce even more aluminium than Anglesey. But Brussels has ruled that, because it fails to comply with the EU's Large Combustion Plants directive, it too will have to close, losing 600 more jobs and almost all that remains of our aluminium production.
 
As ever more of British industry disappears, with Lord Mandelson predicting that even the City of London will emerge from the slump much reduced, it seems we shall soon have to live on air. Then, when Brussels discovers that air contains carbon dioxide, calling for yet more regulation, will even that be beyond our reach?

 
Telegraph readers sent responses to this story that were, as usual, intelligent and perceptive …
 
"The thing that strikes me as sinister is the fact that the judge placed a no reporting ban on the case. He compounded this by refusing the defendants to speak in their own defence. This suggests you are describing a show trial. I thought we fought a war or two to prevent this sort of thing happening here".
 
"The people are free when they are able to get the kind of country that they want. But when the people just have to put up with the kind of country that the authorities want, they are living in a dictatorship. Our dictatorship is heavily tarted up to look like democracy but, in truth, we are subjugated to the will of Brussels. In order to regain our freedom we must leave the EU"
 
"Sadly, it has come to a point that I believe many so called "civil & public servants" have become nothing more than nasty, vindictive and willing oppressors of their fellow citizens, doing the bidding of their political masters.
 
"I think the time is approaching that these individuals should be seen much as collaborators in WWII europe were viewed. They should be shunned, ostracized, shamed and made outcasts from the society they so brutally try to dominate. It is these types of people who willingly herded fellow citizens into cattle cars just 60 years ago".
(Careful, when Ken Livingstone said something like this he caused a storm of outrage, although it's not clear who it's offensive to. The cattle, perhaps - GOS)
 
"What this disgraceful case really shows is that there is much about Britain today that should frighten us all greatly and by that I do not mean the chance of dying at the hands a terrorist bomber. There now exist vast armies of officials which excel at punishing the little man but not the bigger player and they are equipped with a huge range of powers given to them not only by the EU but by our 'government'. The laws used against the Newlyn men were intended to catch and punish dangerous criminals, not fishermen trying to earn a living in the face of mad and complex regulations that serve no useful purpose. The obsessive manner in which the Newlyn men were pursued is chilling - and to what end? We know now that this is part of a pattern - who can forget the Poole (Dorset) case in which surveillance provisions were used by a local authority to stalk a young mother for three weeks because one of her neighbours had wrongly accused her of registering one of her children for a school outside her catchment area, a crime now apparently so serious that it is considered worthy of the attention once normally given only to individuals suspected of planning armed bank robberies or acts of terrorism.
 
Be afraid ..."

 

 
The GOS says: I've just got one thing to add. By the time they'd been caught in the nets and hauled on board, the bl**dy fish were bl**dy dead, so what was all the bl**dy fuss about? What were the fishermen supposed to do - the bl**dy kiss of life?
 

 
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